your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
