his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
