nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
