I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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