I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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