Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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