I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
