sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
