Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dicks are not precious.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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