i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
