Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
