Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
