I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
