she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
