Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
