making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
