Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
