who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
