I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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