she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
