My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
