Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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