Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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