JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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