dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
