could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
