End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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