i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
