Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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