after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
