When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
