I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
