Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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