No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
