So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
