im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
