You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
