If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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