I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
