How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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