Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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