he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
