I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Soap is not a condiment
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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