Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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