"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She's the barista slut.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
