I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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