Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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