She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
