My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dick very happy bro
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize