her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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