as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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