I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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