everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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