I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
