His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize