apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
