dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
