we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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