May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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