I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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