I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not