It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
