Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?

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(212): View more from New York

I'm drive I can fine osifer

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(904): View more from Florida

So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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(+27): View more from South Africa

My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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(719): View more from Colorado

You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.

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