I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize