At least make sure they are 18
Why
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
