btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
